Here are some photos of swaggy adult Justin Bieber departing his swaggy Miami Beach rental house on Friday night. He peeked out of his car with what was described as a “sh-t eating grin” on his swaggy face. A few hours before he was arrested for DUI and drag racing in Miami Beach (and cussed out the cops during the process), he added to his swaggy rep by posting a cute little skateboarding video to Instagram. Beibs can be seen in the vid skateboarding down a tiny ramp before landing and (in all seriousness) stating, “Swag.” Then he went and got himself a swaggy mugshot. I still think he’s looking for street cred with this whole mess.
Let’s do bullet points to get caught up on swaggy baby Biebs:
* Justin has taken to Twitter and urged his cultish followers to keep the faith: “YOU ARE ALL WORTHY NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS. BE STRONG GOD IS WITH US ALL. MY BELIEBERS CHANGED MY LIFE I WILL FOREVER BE GRATEFUL.” He also popped onto Instagram and wrote “thank u lord” (for his arrest?) and “what more can they say.” The latter caption was posted with a photo of Bieber comparing himself to Michael Jackson (photographed here after his “not guilty” plea to charges of child molestation). Of course.
* TMZ reports that the Miami Beach PD may have fudged Biebs’ blood alcohol level on his arrest report. Legal intoxication is .08, and the original report stated Bieber had a .04. TMZ’s sources say Bieber actually had a .014. Bieber admitted to police that was under the influence of weed and whatever drugs his mommy gave him, but the fudged report truly messes up this case. I admit not being surprised that the PD effed this up because the report also states that Bieber weighs 140 pounds. No freaking way does swaggy adult weigh more than 130.
* Bieber’s people predictably want him to hit rehab. They also think he needs some serious psychotheraphy to deal with the pressures of being so rich, famous, and successful. If the egg-throwing case gets filed as a felony, the judge might go for rehab as part of a plea deal. Courtney Enlow at Pajiba makes a great case for why the rehab push is ridiculous.
* Manager Scooter Braun is standing by his man. Scooter lovingly tweeted, “@justinbieber love you and i will act in the manner of someone who truly cares. that is all I have to say. thanks for all those concerned.” Scooter baby followed up with “Been a long day. Bottom line is we are defined by how we handle adversity. Be there when it counts. Love fully in good times and bad.” Aww.
* Lady Gaga just had to put her perspective out there. Because grabbing onto this scandal is the only way anyone will pay attention to her anymore. Gaga wrote on her Little Monsters site: “Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and to stand up for themselves, but I think we should be supportive of Beliebers. They deserve, just like any other fan, to feel strong for each other and Justin so they can continue to share the bond they have through music.” Discuss.
* The drag racing, arrest, and other unseemly swaggy Bieber behavior is still everyone else’s fault. Radar Online says Bieber’s handlers are now pointing towards Selena Gomez as a “bad influence.” Team Swag is claiming Bieber only acts like a swaggy idiot after he and Selena have a fight. Whatever. #teamswag
* Bieber is in Panama now. People has the scoop, and it looks like quite the party affair.
Photos courtesy of Justin Bieber on Instagram, Fame/Flynet Pacific Coast News